Let's talk about the hard conversation model. It's important to create a sturdy foundation for feedback and difficult conversations that support the relationship. There are three key steps to this model, and we'll go through each in more detail. A difficult conversation requires thoughtful preparation precisely because your brain will not be able to engage in rational thought if you're feeling triggered by the conflict.

So preparing for the conversation and even practicing it will make it much easier. Ask yourself, what is the intention I have for this conversation? What is my desired outcome? Write it down.

In addition, you may want to make sure the other person has enough space to process the information, Letting them know in advance that you'd like to have a conversation without giving them too much detail so that they're unnecessarily worrying may help them to feel ready. No one likes to be surprised by feedback. Something as simple as during our next one on one. I'd love to carve out some space to talk about how the project is going for you.

Let's talk about what's going well for you and what could be improved. actual conversation should be focused on observations, not judgments, assumptions or inferences. We want to focus on sharing what we saw, heard or noticed. There's a natural human urge to add our own assumptions as to why something happened or what it means.

But we really want to focus on observations, facts that a camera observes, or the honest assessment of the impact that behavior is having on the team or the business. Use nonviolent communication, observations, feelings, needs and requests. Once you've shared your feedback, make space for the other person to share their perspectives. There are multiple frameworks you can call on if a situation gets tough, which we cover in our other courses.

For now, remember to get quiet and get curious. Listen with positive and active intent. Acknowledge that you're hearing their side and appreciate if they are owning their part of it. things like what I'm hearing you say is or Thanks for sharing that with me.

It helps me to understand once you've shared your observations and impact and you've actively listened to them. Perhaps there are a few specific requests that need to be made. It's essential that what you are asking for them to do is made crystal clear. Talk about what a successful outcome from this conversation would be.

Make sure there is total awareness and accountability on who is doing what and by when. It's important to remember that expectations are not agreements. Expectations must be clearly communicated in order to create the space for agreements.